Monday, December 22, 2008


"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough."

In my twenty-two years, I have learned that there are many people who can not be trusted. My first experience where that trust was broken, was really enough to do me in for good.. JFK once said, "Forgive your enemies, but don't forget their names." I have learned that until you can forgive someone, you will always have the constant burden of hate and fear on your shoulders. It took me a long time to forgive that person. I have not forgotten what they did, but I can truly say that I have let go of that hate that I carried around for years.

As I have entered adulthood, though I have forgiven, I have not forgotten of the times where I have felt that my trust was betrayed. Unconciously I have pushed important people away from me, and have been led by fear to doubt not only them, but myself. It has been a strong roadblock in my relationships, both romantically and with friends. After the ending of a "relationship" that ended earlier this year, I realized that not trusting him was what held me back from really appreciating who he was.

So after that, I made a vow to move on and let go of those inhibitions. But then I watched that same person betray his trust to someone else... I have seen friends cheat, be cheated on, and hide it like trust is something you can buy in bulk. Who is that fair to?

I have lost great faith in someone I believed to be a true friend. I had been reassured so many times by this person that she was honest, and cared about our friendship. This same "friend" was with me through some very difficult times, which only made me trust her more. It disappoints me to see how quickly she could throw away a friendship, and what for.

Brent always told me that the only person you can trust or rely on is yourself. I am starting to realize that he is right, to an extent. I am glad that I have a strong relationship with the Lord, and know that I can trust Him. At this time of year I am celebrating the miracle of the birth of our Savior. He is the purest example of the miracle of forgiveness. He forgave his friends that denied and crucifide Him. He taught us now matter what happens we can forgive and learn to love that person. I am so grateful for Jesus Christ this Christmas season, and am greatful for the real reason why we celebrate this holiday.

Monday, December 15, 2008

I'm freezing like a freezer

I have been caught on various occasions telling my little sisters that I am "freezing like a freezer" (and also that I am smoothe like a smoothie...), but this time I could actually be right. It is definitely colder outside than it is in my freezer. Denver set a new record today at -18, and going outside is insta brain freeze. There were some 300 school busses in the Denver area today that wouldn't start, leaving those poor little kids waiting for a bus that would never come.

Friday night we had our ward Christmas party, dubbed an "Ugly Sweater Party." The turnout wasn't all that great, but there was definitely no competition to Jonathan's 4th grade teacher-esque sparkling sweater.


Saturday was the Salon's Christmas party. When the SF girls get together, there is never a dull moment. We went out to a club last weekend called 24karat. It is above the ever trendy Monark which was the bar featured on Real World Denver (p.s., I am SO excited for Real World Brooklyn!). I love getting dressed up for any occasion so it was fun to get dressed up two weekends in a row. Here is Peri and I excitedly taking our "shots" or Martinellis.


In other news.. I am so prooud of my little brother Chase, who will be serving his mission in San Antonio. I know that he will be a great missionary, and the people of San Antonio are lucky to have him for the next 2 years. I'm also excited to talk to Ty on Christmas, it's been over a year since I've heard his voice. Tomorrow we are having an Enrichment activity at my house wrapping Christmas gifts. I always procrastinate wrapping my gifts, so that will take care of that problem. Yesterday while I was trying to get ahold of someone in my family I thought I noticed the smell of something burning.. I asked Victoria if she smelled it, but she reassured me my nose was confused. Just to make sure I headed to the kitchen and discovered that thick dark grey steam was emerging from our dishwasher. I opened the door and after the thick cloud dispersed, I discovered that a plastic lid was resting on the heating element. Thankfully we caught it before full ignition!! At least it would have kept us warm through this crazy cold weather..