Monday, December 22, 2008

Trust

"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough."

In my twenty-two years, I have learned that there are many people who can not be trusted. My first experience where that trust was broken, was really enough to do me in for good.. JFK once said, "Forgive your enemies, but don't forget their names." I have learned that until you can forgive someone, you will always have the constant burden of hate and fear on your shoulders. It took me a long time to forgive that person. I have not forgotten what they did, but I can truly say that I have let go of that hate that I carried around for years.

As I have entered adulthood, though I have forgiven, I have not forgotten of the times where I have felt that my trust was betrayed. Unconciously I have pushed important people away from me, and have been led by fear to doubt not only them, but myself. It has been a strong roadblock in my relationships, both romantically and with friends. After the ending of a "relationship" that ended earlier this year, I realized that not trusting him was what held me back from really appreciating who he was.

So after that, I made a vow to move on and let go of those inhibitions. But then I watched that same person betray his trust to someone else... I have seen friends cheat, be cheated on, and hide it like trust is something you can buy in bulk. Who is that fair to?

I have lost great faith in someone I believed to be a true friend. I had been reassured so many times by this person that she was honest, and cared about our friendship. This same "friend" was with me through some very difficult times, which only made me trust her more. It disappoints me to see how quickly she could throw away a friendship, and what for.

Brent always told me that the only person you can trust or rely on is yourself. I am starting to realize that he is right, to an extent. I am glad that I have a strong relationship with the Lord, and know that I can trust Him. At this time of year I am celebrating the miracle of the birth of our Savior. He is the purest example of the miracle of forgiveness. He forgave his friends that denied and crucifide Him. He taught us now matter what happens we can forgive and learn to love that person. I am so grateful for Jesus Christ this Christmas season, and am greatful for the real reason why we celebrate this holiday.

1 comment:

Dari said...

Hey its Dari :) I found your blog and wanted to say hi.

It is so hard to weed out the untrue people in your life but boy is it something you learn how to do as you grow up. I hope you are doing well!

Come by and say hello sometime on my blog.