Tuesday, January 13, 2009


I have had a lot on my mind lately, and it's hard for me to sort out my thoughts. I've been doing lots of journaling of my own, and felt like blogging my thoughts tonight. I have been (and still am) so caught up in trying to buy a car that I haven't even slowed down to do anythign else. So here I am, test driving a car tonight.. I have the dealer in the back seat, my most wonderful friend Alan in the front seat... and I'm rambling off about my ipod, the laptop I just purchased, and it clicks to me how many "toys" I have accumulated lately.

I have recently been rereading my favorite book, "What Happy People Know." I live by this book. I practice what it teaches, and try and share what it has taught me with everyone. I am constantly recommending it to clients, friends, and family, and even gave a copy of it to one of my friends for Christmas. It's great, pick it up when you have a chance. I've been recognizing how many people use some thing to fill voids in their lives. For some people it's something more destructive like drugs or alochol, others it can be something wonderful like love, affection, and companionship. And there is most definitely those of us who fill our lives with things.. clothes, toys, make-up, etc.. At some point I think all of us have used at least one of these things to "heal" us, without ever trying to fix the problem.
So what's the point? Here we are, our ultimate goal being perfection, aspiring to be like our older brother Jesus Christ. How is a new purse, or a large serving of chocolate cake, a new house, a new boyfriend, a new tv, going to help us achieve that?

I am so greatful for the incredible people I have in my life. Mainly my mother, who I have never known to really want anything. Okay, so that is an exageration, but honestly I can't ever think of anything big that she's ever asked for or expressed desire for. When we ask her what she wants for anything, her response is usually, "I want a clean house." Only ever replaced with the even more selfless, "I want my children home with me," or "I want my daughter to be happy." I would say that no matter what the circumstance my mother has been an incredible example of being genuinely happy. I am so lucky to have such a great family.

Neva has been on my mind a lot lately. I keep thinking of all of the funny things that she said to me throughout the years. Or how she would take naps in the break room, or her car, or wherever she could lay her head. How she about scared me half to death my first week of work telling me that if I didn't do my share of color bowls everyone would hate me. I still miss her presence every day. Peri had a client today who told her that since she had been in last she lost both her son and her husband in a car accident. When Peri told those of us in the back room we all gasped in unison, and I think our hearts broke all in the same way. After recently losing such a great friend, I can only imagine how she is feeling. How dare I complain about not having anything to wear, my grown out roots, or missing my favorite tv show? The Lord has blessed me with so many great things, and more importantly, so many great people.


Melody said...

Okay, you have me crying once again. You are too sweet! I love you to death! I am so proud to have you for a daughter!!!

michael said...